Scan today revealed 3 follicles. 1 x 16mm, 1 x 15mm, 1 x 11mm.
I'll trigger on Sunday or Monday. EPU on Tuesday/Wednesday. They offered me the choice to cancel the cycle as I will most likely only have 2 good follies. She said that meant the chances of good eggs (or eggs at all) were low and thus a successful pregnancy was a low chance. I decided not to cancel but I'm pretty hopeless. Lining was up to 7mm, so at least that will be thick enough if I make it to transfer.
Apparently I am a poor responder. And I knew I would be, you don't get an Anti-Mullerian hormone level of 6 and then everything is ok (normal fertile range is 10-20 - means good ovarian reserve).
So we have The Big Guy's low normal morphology (8%) and my poor ovarian response with old eggs and that's pretty much why we haven't gotten pregnant.
And I spent from 7:45 til midday in doctor's waiting rooms today. Stupidly, oh god so incredibly stupidly, I read The Road while I waited. Geezus what a bleak and hopeless book. Beautifully written but boy-oh-boy what a dumb choice for a day of bad news. Watch the trailer for The Road if you want to see the bleak inside of my head today.
The vulva doc said to try thrush cream for a month and do some v.aginal physiotherapy with oil. Basically stretching the outer rim with increasingly larger things working my way up to p.enis sized. The whole idea would be hilariously funny if it wasn't so incredibly fucked up.
I cried 4 times today and I want to keep crying. And I'm pretty sure that's not a drug side effect because the drugs have done jack-shit.
I'm going to print out this page of advice for poor responders and take along to my next appointment with the docs and see if they'll give it a go.
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So sorry to hear that, hope the EPU goes better than expected......
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear this news.
ReplyDeleteStill holding out positive thoughts for you, even if you can't!
((HUGS))
I'll keep the HOPE candle burning for you too.
ReplyDeleteHey, I started reading The Road on bed rest from embryo transfer..... I believe it is well written but had to take a break!
(((HUGs)))
Ayayay! The Road... holy cow. Then you could top that off with Bergman's Winter Light and David Lynch's Inland Empire, just to really seal the deal. Maybe some early Dostoevsky for dessert? :)
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to get a dx that sounds like "we can't help you." That said, there's always some hope (a gal on line how got pregnant and stayed that way with one embie) and there are things that help poor responders, both medical and stuff like acupuncture (if that's your style).
Regardless, I'm sending you big hugs and hopes that things look up.