Arrested development

We got 2 eggs, we got 2 embryos. The nurse called me on Saturday afternoon with a transfer time for Sunday. All was looking good.


Then the Dr called me this morning and as soon as he said "Hello, it's Dr H" I knew.

The embryos had arrested overnight and there's nothing to transfer.

All that money and effort and pain and sadness and hope for nothing.

I'm crushed.


Editing to add: It's late night now and because I'm not making babies I cooked Chicken Cacciatore and Oatmeal Choc Chip Cookies instead. Comfort food. I've eaten about 8 cookies so far. So has the Big Guy. We're teary and getting fat together.


Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies
(from The Frog Commissary Cookbook)

1 cup butter, room temperature
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 large eggs
2 tbsp milk
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour (plain flour for us Aussies)
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 1/2 cups oats (rolled or "quick," but not "instant")
2 cups chocolate chips (about 12-oz.)

Preheat the oven to 350F (180C). Line a baking sheet with baking paper.
In a large bowl, cream together the butter and the sugars until mixture is light in colour. Beat in the eggs one at a time, followed by the milk and the vanilla extract.
In a medium bowl, stir together the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Either by hand or with the mixer on low speed, gradually beat the flour in to the sugar mixture until just incorporated.
Stir in the oats and chocolate chips by hand. And OMG the bowl is heavy by now.
Drop 1-inch balls of dough onto the cookie sheet, placing about 1 1/2 inches apart so they have room to spread.
Bake at 350F for 10-13 minutes, until golden brown at the edges and light golden at the centre.
Cool on baking sheet for at least 1-2 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Makes 4 dozen.