Sunday, September 20, 2009

Arrested development

We got 2 eggs, we got 2 embryos. The nurse called me on Saturday afternoon with a transfer time for Sunday. All was looking good.


Then the Dr called me this morning and as soon as he said "Hello, it's Dr H" I knew.

The embryos had arrested overnight and there's nothing to transfer.

All that money and effort and pain and sadness and hope for nothing.

I'm crushed.


Editing to add: It's late night now and because I'm not making babies I cooked Chicken Cacciatore and Oatmeal Choc Chip Cookies instead. Comfort food. I've eaten about 8 cookies so far. So has the Big Guy. We're teary and getting fat together.


Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies
(from The Frog Commissary Cookbook)
1 cup butter, room temperature
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 large eggs
2 tbsp milk
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour (plain flour for us Aussies)
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 1/2 cups oats (rolled or "quick," but not "instant")
2 cups chocolate chips (about 12-oz.)

Preheat the oven to 350F (180C). Line a baking sheet with baking paper.
In a large bowl, cream together the butter and the sugars until mixture is light in colour. Beat in the eggs one at a time, followed by the milk and the vanilla extract.
In a medium bowl, stir together the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Either by hand or with the mixer on low speed, gradually beat the flour in to the sugar mixture until just incorporated.
Stir in the oats and chocolate chips by hand. And OMG the bowl is heavy by now.
Drop 1-inch balls of dough onto the cookie sheet, placing about 1 1/2 inches apart so they have room to spread.
Bake at 350F for 10-13 minutes, until golden brown at the edges and light golden at the centre.
Cool on baking sheet for at least 1-2 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Makes 4 dozen.

20 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry. I have been in that situation and it is devastating. I know how awful you are feeling right now.

    Think of you and just wanted to send some support.

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  2. I am so sorry. I do know exactly how you feel. It is almost unbelievable, as if someone is just playing a calossal nasty trick on you.

    I had this on 2 Flare cycles.

    The only one that it didn't happen on was Antagonist. It is a different drug ( Orgalutron)and my FS believes it is has less impact on the actual eggsas it works differently.

    Best of luck for the next one!

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  3. Oh Pundelina I am so so sorry to read this:(

    I don't know what to say at all. It is so freaking unfair. Look after yourself. Or get rolling drunk. It makes me feel better.

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  4. Pundelina I am so so sorry, frick. FRICK.

    I only hope they are getting more info to turn things around for next time ... it just sucks that there has to even be a next time.

    Thinking of you XOXOXOX

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  5. I am so, so sorry this happened. It is monumentally unfair.

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  6. Oh I am so so sorry. I wish there was something more I could say, but I know words change nothing. My thoughts are with you.

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  7. Not fair.

    I'm so, so sorry.

    Big, HUGE ((HUGS)) for both of you...

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  8. This really sucks. Hugs to you and I agree with Prue get rolling drunk.

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  9. I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. There are no words.

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  10. I am so sorry to hear that, terrible news. Really, I don't know what else to say but I'm sorry and that sucks.

    Enjoy your comfort food xxx

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  11. I am so very sorry to hear that this has happended to you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  12. love to u! Thinking of u in this crap time... X

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  13. I know how crushing this must be.

    To have our emotional, mental and physical onvolvement turn out into a giant cipher. To have gone through it all for nothing is horrible.


    This should have been time for celebratory food and not comfort food. Much hugs to you and family.

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  14. Oh Pundalina, I am so sorry. That sucks extra in every way-- I hate the rug pulled out feeling, and do not wish it on anyone ever.

    I am so sorry.
    Food is good, comfort food is better, really really good comfort food is the best.

    Wishing so much that this had turned out differently for you- my heart is simply aching.

    warmly,
    Kate

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  15. Oh, crap. I'm so sorry. Hugs.

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  16. oh fu*k. Nothing else to say but that really. I'm so sorry.

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  17. I'm sorry that your embryos didn't make it to transfer. Thus just plain sucks! Sending you gentle hugs from afar.

    Thanks for the recipe. It sounds yummy.

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  18. UGH, this sounds sucky. I'm sorry! ((HUGS)). Those cookies sound yum-o-riffic, and heaviness of the bowl is noted. Thanks for that warning. Hang in there!

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  19. Ugh. I'm sorry to be catching up so late...even sorrier to read this news. I want to say the right thing and offer you some comforting advice. But this just plain sucks. Please take care of yourself. Yeah, I medicate with food too...

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