Friday, June 4, 2010

CD27 and other news

This month I have felt lots of cramping down low in my sweet chariot. And so naturally I've wondered whether I could be so lucky as to be magically, wonderfully, urban-legend-ly knocked up in this cycle before the final IVF. Who knows, I gave up on my PingOAS obsession months ago when I finally realised that it was doing me no good to see the screamingly white space where my lines SHOULD have been every month. So no pee-sticks for me. I'm due by Sunday, in which case I'll be starting the last round of jabs on Monday-ish.

OhMyGod!!! I'll be injecting again within days. I'm battling hopelessness at present. I have to keep reminding myself that it is possible, I haven't stopped ovulating yet. However, if my odds were those of a horse in a race, there's no way I'd back it unless it was running in the Melbourne Cup. And then I'd cheer a lot and yell encouraging words at the horse while I watched it race on TV at the pub. 'Cause that's what you do on Melbourne Cup Day if you're not at Flemington.

I'm liking the metaphor here...let's see if there's more metaphorical fuel* to be drawn from this

It is a race built on dreams, on hard luck and triumph. It is a race which is also survived by tragedy.
That's the race I'm in. Mine's a race against time and I really want to be a winner.

In other news, I've never really given two hoots about Schapelle Corby or her punishment for what I consider to be an incredibly stupid crime. She was convicted of smuggling 4.2kg of dope into, INTO, Bali in 2004. Again, I say ... INTO Bali! She maintained she was innocent, and there are multiple explanations that were raised regarding crooked baggage handlers and drug-smuggling syndicates. Suffice it to say, I haven't cared too much about it. As far as I was concerned, she got the same sort of trial as she would have had here and she'd have been convicted here too. But for less time, because in Indonesia she got a 20 year sentence. Locked up at 26, she'll be released somewhere round 47. The other day I was in the supermarket and I saw this headline

And while I stood in line I read the article, which is of course complete fluff and elaboration. But it hit me then. Not only is Schapelle denied her liberty for 20 years, she's denied her fertility too. Her chance to have babies and thus to have grandchildren.

I don't think that's fair. That 20 year sentence is a substantially different punishment for man than for a woman. Now, years after her incarceration began, I feel terribly, terribly sorry for Schapelle and, for that matter, any woman who is incarcerated for a long prison term. A man at 47 can go on to have a family, a woman generally can't. Isn't it bad enough to be locked up, isn't that punitive enough? And why isn't this an issue? I know that here in Australia, you have to do something fairly heinous (homicide, sexual assault, injurious acts) to get put away from such a long time - all your fertile years. Poor woman - I'd be fighting that sentence too. And I'd get knocked up in prison if it were possible. Which it apparently is, according to the stories about Hotel K as the jail is known.

And then there's this - Bolivia woman 'sold new-born baby for $140'. I'm torn over this one. I know the moral ground ... no baby-selling, it leads to bad bad things. But in this case? She couldn't afford to keep the baby and had sold it to an infertile lady. God knows what will happen to that little one, I actually hope that the lady who bought the baby gets to keep it. There's gotta be some breaks for infertiles, surely.

*Can you even have metaphorical fuel?


  1. Schapelle is about the same age as me, and was busted about the time I was pregnant with my first, and I remember this was one of the things that struck me the most then, being terribly relevant to me at that time. All those fertile childbearing years, locked up. No chance to find a man and no chance to have a baby. I felt very sorry for her for that reason alone....

    Have you heard about the woman in a low security Vic prison (in the news this week) who was seeking her rights to continue IVF from prsion? She was arguing that other inmates got the right to conjugal visits so have the opportunity to conceive, but as she needed IVF, and was unable to have treatment whilst incarcerated, she was claiming her human rights were being breached. She is 40 someething (?43?) and already has a 2 year old in with her. Now the verdict is in, and she has been denied access.

  2. Oh I so want you to move into urban legend territory! (In a good way, not because of growing an extra arm from drinking too much coke or something.) Good luck getting through these last few days of waiting.

    Oh wow, now I feel sorry for incarcerated women, too! That is awfully sad to think about, particularly in cases where the person's story is at least semi-sympathetic...

  3. crossing my fingers and toes for you. Crazier things have happened. I wish you peace as you move towards this next cycle. I always find the build up to be the worst part, its like sitting at the top of the rollercoaster. Hang in there.

  4. Well, may the lagoon be harbouring a positive secret...;-)

    I would much rather have contemplated on the magnitude of the crime rather than the effect on fertility...but you are correct, she would have lost all her fertile years.

  5. lol @ down low in your sweet chariot. Ha ha ha!! GOOD LUCK!!!!! I'll be lurking!

  6. Great post! I enjoyed every word! From sweet chariot to IVf inmates...

    I SO hope you get knocked up right before IVF. Wouldn't that be wonderful?? And the extra cramping sounds like a good sign.

    I feel quite sad for Scepelle (or whatever her name is), and incredibly happy for the infertile woman who only had to pay $140 for a baby!!! Nice. maybe I should head to Bolivia for my next vacation.

    Not that I am without sympathy for the biological mother, but I respect the choice of giving up a baby for adoption. Especially if she can't raise it properly herself. Still, her plight sounds awfully sad...

  7. I know it would be almost too perfect, and therefore difficult to trust, but damn it I would like some nice urban legend to sustain me!

    You're right about those stories. A prison term like that is not the same for a man. I don't like to think too much about the logistics, but I can understand making hay while the sun shines (even through prison bars).

  8. Madness. I am looking at the day now and wondering if you found your own entry into snopes (TRUE). It's really incredible the way that both good luck and bad luck can trip you up at odd times. I'm really hoping that you get a break here. Hello? Universe? I'm talking to you here.

    That Bolivian woman story made me incredibly sad. If only this infertility madness didn't make us all crazy. And as far as being incarcerated goes, it is cruel and unusual punishment. It makes me wonder how many women are really affected by this.

    Sending you hopeful thoughts today.

  9. Pundelina, I want you to be a winner, too! Thanks for the inspiration! Hey, I found this thread about AMH and thought you might like to see it, too:


  10. I hope you are an urban legend. That would keep me going!

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  12. Punds I am shooting up too. Secret squirrel though. Only told one person. DH.

    xoxxo and Fark I want it for you so much more.


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