Monday, October 25, 2010

Siete tutti così gentili

Yes you are.

I've been needing inspiration and confidence and support with this crazy Ph.D idea. And I got some from you guys - thanks so much.

So, yes, I'm applying. The app has to be in by the end of the week and I'm almost finished writing it. I've been reading articles and talking to peeps and getting excellent references done for me. I'll get accepted for the Ph.D program no problems, but what I need to be able to do it is the scholarship. Which is not a big amount in itself ... but ... the reason I'm even applying is because this guy came to work the other day and asked us (me) to run a big online survey for him. The he mentioned that he was thinking of supplementing a Ph.D scholarship to make it more attractive to a Ph.D student - his top-up would make the Ph.D worth $40,000 a year to do. He offered it to me and I scoffed and refused it immediately.

However, I went home and realised that maybe I can do a Masters/PhD combo for $160,000 over 4 years.  That actually sounds like a pretty good deal!  I have to do another two years study minimum (Masters) to get registered and practice as a psych. And all I was going to do was wait til I'd recovered from the horrors of the honours thesis I just handed in in March. But would I ever really be ready? Nope. I don't think so. Who the hell wants to write a fucking thesis anyway.  Be it 16,000 words (Mas.ters) or 80,000 (Mas.ters/Ph.D combo) (that's $2/word!).

So. I never managed to have a baby but I'm going to see if I can be a sooper-dooper academic and birth a book instead.

On the craptacular side of life, my Mum has just been diagnosed with a CIN III cervical dysplasia.  The awfullest kind to find on your annual pap smear. She didn't even go for an annual smear though. She's been spotting and having discharge and pain in her uterus and lower back for a couple of months and that's what prompted her to go get checked out. As you might recall, faithful readers, my Mum was done and dusted with periods when she was 41 - which was 18 years ago.  So bleeding and period pains are terribly fucking weird things for her to be getting.

Even worse for her, she was raped about 30 years ago and she has serious issues with pap smears and pretty much any and all vaginal exams. So of all the places in her body to have a problem that requires invasive treatment, this is the worst. She'd prefer brain cancer to this.

As far as I'm concerned, prayers are just kind thoughts, so go on and think kind thoughts for my Mama. I love her and I don't want her to have cancer or for me to be an orphan. She's my only family. Here's a quicky-piccie of her so you can concentrate on it and send healing-hippy-vibes her way please.


  1. thinking of you and your mother, I am so sorry that this going on.
    Good luck with you Ph.D. applications, you CAN do this!!!!

  2. Oh Prudelina, I will send tons of good thoughts. I hope she is ok. Good luck with the PH.D. I think about you often and hope you are well.

  3. My heart goes out to your mother and you who love her so much - she looks like a beautiful, kind, generous person. Such and awful thing to have happen.

    Good luck with the application - I have every confidence you will go far!

    p.s. my word verification is "blessm" fwiw!

  4. I will definitely be sending good thoughts towards you and your mother... and I'm so sorry to hear about this.

    I am also proud of you for starting the next leg of your academic career! I have very good feelings about this.

  5. I'm new to your blog but I will definitely add my good thoughts to the others for your mom. I am sorry that she is going through that at all.

  6. I am sorry you and your lovely Mama are dealing with this. I am sending lots of positive healing thoughts.

  7. OH I am so very sorry. I just spent several minutes sending positive healing vibes at your mama. And you. My mama has the big C so I know what you are going through. Hugs.

    Excellent news on the PhD front - I am sure you will get a scholarship no problems. $40k pa for a PhD is wonderful.

  8. Pundelina, I am thinking all my best and biggest thoughts for your mother. I'm so sorry that she has to go through this, and through the trauma of exams:( I want Pundelina Mum to be on this earth for a good, long time. For starters, to hear people greet you as Dr. Pundelina. And for a long, long time after that.

    (So glad that you are going for it)

  9. I'm so sorry about your mom. I hope she gets all sorts of good news soon. I'm sending my good vibes too. And congrats for you on making a big decision. I hope it's an exhilarating adventure!

  10. Prayers and Healing Wishes for your mother...for somebody who entered menopause years ago, going through the whole periods drama is horror.

    I am sorry your mother was raped. And I wish nobody should ever have to experience it. It is something I understand well, just don't ask me how.

    All the best for writing in your PhD application. The possibility of financial assistance is such a boon really. Good Luck with that too!

    And you will turn author? Please do, so that I can feel good about the 'circle' I keep on the internetz...;-)

  11. Your poor mum. Plenty of good thoughts coming form here.

  12. I'm terribly, terribly sorry to hear about your mum. I'm sending non-denominational prayers her way. Hoping it's all sorted quickly.

  13. SO sorry to hear about your mom! How scary for her (and you!) I will send hippy love and healing thoughts her way for certain.
    YOU-- yes indeed, MS/PhD do it!
    going back later on is just so much harder-- ride the crazy wave and go go go !
    you can absolutely do it.


"Scout yonder's been readin' ever since she was born." I wasn't quite so precocious but I do love reading comments!