Monday, February 8, 2010

Good vibrations and crap results

I'm waiting for the doctor to call me back and I thought I would dish out some bloggedy goodness. I has bin a bad blogger lately, but a free and relatively happy person. It's interesting to me that when I'm under pressure, or in pain, or terribly miserable I begin to see those states as normal, as the status quo. And then when the stress has lifted, or the pain relieved or the depression alleviated I realise exactly how much I was affected and exactly how not-normal it was.

Last year I was not my normal, usual, centred self, interwebz. I have been stressed, in pain and thoroughly, thoroughly miserable and this break in the clouds, this sunshine streaming on down, it is so welcome, so warm so ... needed.

The DHEA experiment is proving an interesting. I'm not sure how much of my well-being is DHEAs doing and how much is the relief of IVF stress. Either way I have had an improved libido, some insomnia and general feelings of good.

Last week I finished one section of my research project a 2771 word Method. 2771 words is more than I had to write for the whole of my undergrad projects! Now there's another 3 sections and 4229 words to go. On track.

Yesterday I made an orange cake and made great headway into re-covering an old lampshade.  The original 90 year old shade was (as you can imagine) stained and worn and I have had a new one in mind for a while. Then yesterday, I did a bit of research and began work.

The old shade.

Stage 1 - carefully peeling the old, rotting silk shade off the frame. Ninety year old dust exploded at me in little puffs as I popped the threads and smelt bad. A musty old lady smell ...
I wonder if that's how my ovaries smell?

The frame revealed

Stage 2. I carefully cut the old shade in half along it's seam lines, spread it out on the new material, pinned and then freaking-out-ed-ly cut the new cloth with a one inch seam allowance. Cutting material completely freaks me out.  Up until this point I was oohing and ahhing contentedly as I completed tasks. Anyway, despite my cutting-panic, it worked out fine.

Stage 3 - I stretched the new cloth over the frame, pinned it tightly and left it to settle.

Then I made some trim, an orange cake and arranged them so artistically for this photo! Ha!

Next post, I will provide the yummy recipe and a picture of the finished lampshade. I'm on hold with the doctor's office now waiting for those test results.

Off hold. Crap. Craptastic results people. Completely shitehouse.

  • FSH - 7.4 (still under 10 so it looks fine)
  • AMH - 2.8. (It was 6 eighteen months ago. Normal fertile AMH is between 10-20ish. Fuck.)
  • Inhibin-B - 23. (More shit. Normal range is 100-250. Post-menopausal is <10. I'm in the menopausal range.)
  • DHEA-S - 5.8mMol/L. (Have to suss out the normal range for that.)

Fuckdamn. That's completely fucked up and all of sudden I really don't feel so great.


  1. I was reading like great till you came to your bullets...and that's when the ouch happened.

    It would be easy of me to say that 'Hey, it's good to know that you are better', 'and yes, please send me some cake' and 'oh, that's a good crafts project'...

    ...but I really hope that the numbers that wussing really shine up...shine up for good.

  2. Ugh. Not the happy ending to the post I was hoping for. But...women with worse numbers have gotten knocked up, and there may be interventions to bolster the values...wish it was easier for you. Because, dammit.

  3. Your shade looks like it's coming along well. Can't wait to see the finished product. "Fuckdamn" had to chuckle at that as I've never heard that one before! I'm from the states and a little behind on these things sometimes. I've always wanted to visit Australia but I don't know if I could survive the flight.

    I'm not sure how bad the numbers are, but you sounded disappointed. I hope they get better for you.
    Wishing you luck!


  4. So sorry about the numbers not being all in the good and clear range, that sucks rocks.

    But in my lack of education, I do not know how alarmed to be-- did you get some interpretation with those results? as in, what it means for you??

    so sorry sweet Pundelina,

  5. Nothing like a crap telephone call with crap news to mess up an otherwise good day:( I'm sorry.

    Not to be annoyingly look-on-the-bright-sideish but: the FSH is still okay. And it seems like IVF clinics still only really look at this one. My AMH is a little low, as well, though they used a different assay. I honestly have my doubts about this test, though. It seems awfully "of the moment"...

  6. Crap, crap, crap.

    I'm thinking along the same lines as Adele...most clinics just worry about the FSH numbers.

    The shade looks like it will be lovely and the orange cake looks delish!


  7. I'm sorry you didn't get the results you were hoping for. Did they give you your Estradiol (E2) as well? With the DHEA, apparently the number they look at is the free testosterone level - they should have tested that, too...

    At the end of the day, though, numbers are just numbers. Even AMH is just a snapshot, apparently, and not the end all be all.

    As my acupuncturist says, if you're still getting your period, you can still get pregnant. Menopausal or not, numbers be damned (or fuckdamned), and statistics and doctors can take it up the ass.

    Sorry. A little bitter today myself, as you know. ;-)



"Scout yonder's been readin' ever since she was born." I wasn't quite so precocious but I do love reading comments!