Superwoman cannot exist

If you haven't read this post from Mel, then you should.  It's awesome.  I'm going to quote the best part here.

"Essentially what we’re asking women to do, and shaming them when they can’t, is to be superwomen.  We should not get pregnant as teens because that would not be socially responsible, and we’d be a burden on the system because we’d possibly require social assistance.  THEN we should go to college and set ourselves up for a sweet career because women! can! do! anything! and! they! should! do! everything!  THEN right as we’re building our careers, we should settle down, preferably with a man because then we’ll be able to get right into the unassisted babymaking (not that they’re making any heterosexist commentary with these campaigns, right?), while working the full time job.  THEN, because we’re young and fecund, we’ll have said baby, while not taking any time off (because maternity leave is annoying to everyone judging by the sighs people use when they discuss someone in their office going on maternity leave) but breastfeeding exclusively (because don’t you love your baby?) while simultaneously spinning multiple assignments at work.  And volunteering because you don’t want to be a dick and not volunteer.  And hosting dinner parties.  And still having sex with your partner (we’re assuming he’s a man — though don’t call us heterosexist just because we are).  And making dinner for that widow at church.  And calling your mother.  And throwing a pinterest birthday party!"

Yes indeedy, the Taj Mahal was astounding

Can you even believe I got this shot! What symmetry. It's an unbelievable building in person. Photos can't capture the size of it, nor the beauty.

Mum looking back at the side of the Taj from the Mosque.

Looking down the archways at Agra Fort

The mirror tiles of the Maharani's astoundingly beautiful dressing room which we saw secretly.

Looking through to the Taj from the window in the Red Fort that Shah Jahan was locked up in by his son. We were told that once the Shah's eyesight failed he was provided with a mirror that reflected and magnified the Taj so he could still see it and that he died looking at the Taj. Interestingly the Western history of the Taj Mahal is very romantic and many myths surround it. From what historical records tell us (or don't), Shah Jahan did not dismember the wrokers or blind the architects, nor was there ever any evidence of the alleged Black Taj. 

Sunset at Fatehpur Sikri, an abandoned palace complex. Akbar the Great spent so much time overseeing the building of this complex only to leave once it was completed as there wasn't enough water (and also the region was militarily unstable). It was beautiful to note that throughout the palace Akbar had honoured the religions of his wives, we saw Hindu, Jain and Islamic symbology mixed together all through the place.

OMG Wow - India Part 1

Long time no write peeps.

India was amazing.  We all loved it, no one got horribly sick, we had extraordinary experiences and fell in love with the whole place.

Goodbye Australia!

Hello river cruise in Bangkok - lots of fun, beautiful land, we have friends there so we stayed with them and were thoroughly spoiled.

Kolkata - noisy, dirty, alive. Our first taste of India, only one night there in transit. Kids were flabbergasted and horrified and delighted all at once. So were we adults.

 We visited the Mother House, this is her grave. Beautiful sentiment.

Next stop Varanasi, the peaceful Mother Ganga and beauty in old ruins.

More to come.
xx to all

100,000 rupees will make a difference

We're off to India in 2 days. Prepared as much as possible and bearing a huge donation for Seva Mandir.

I am so delighted that I had the idea to fundraise and that it happened - double what I hoped for. We can make change. We are making change.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Please help

We are off to India in January for 3 weeks. All the kids, my Mum, tBG and me.

I think we're going to have an awfully big adventure. Half the people I speak to think it will be a terrible adventure, the other half think it will be a wonderful adventure. Everyone agrees that it will be challenging on many, many levels.

One of the challenges we've anticipated will be the poverty. What to do about the beggars, how to do it without feeling heartless and unkind, how to do it without supporting a ruthless industry, how to do it without ignoring pain and suffering, how to do it and stay ok in our hearts.

We've talked to the children about what they may see, we've watched a stack of travel shows and read blogs and looked at pictures, they understand that India is very very different to Australia. But they don't know it. It's not in their bones and nor in mine.

So what we've decided to do is to make a difference while we're there by funding an organisation that works in the community, with the community. We're raising money for Seva Mandir and then when we're in Rajasthan we'll get to meet some of the people who work for the organisation and give them the money we've raised. We'll be providing funds for non-formal education centres, or for an immunisation program like this one, or maybe to help fund healthcare for women and children.

I've set up a My Cause page. If you can, I'd really appreciate your help in raising funds for this.
I want our kids to see that we can help, that we can make a difference. Not just be tourists.

No donation is too small, not when the wage for an agricultural worker in Rajasthan is less than 100INR per day ($1.80 USD, $1.70 AUD) ... and women get paid less.

Please visit http://www.mycause.com.au/mycause/raise_money/fundraise.php?id=55535 and help us help others.

10 years ago

10 years ago I was 10 weeks pregnant with my own best Little Guy.

Today, instead of writing a paper like I should have been, I was trawling through iVillage archives and finding all the posts I made from 2002 onward in the forums there, documenting my pregnancy adventure. Copying/pasting them, into a diary of sorts, and remembering how I felt. It's bizarre going so far back in time and reading old younger me. I was so sad at first when I got pregnant. I spent the first 8 weeks crying about it. TLG was completely unplanned and I was preparing to leave my XH when we got pregnant. And so when I discovered it I felt so incredibly trapped and forlorn   Also, the hormones just about killed me with moodiness.  But once I hit the 8 week mark I felt beatific instead of sad. And I stayed like that the rest of the pregnancy.  Delighted, wondrous, happy beyond compare.

How I wish I had been able to experience that again.  This time I wouldn't have been at all sad, not one tiny bit.  But no matter how hard I wish, how much I want it, it's just not happening.  Mostly I'm ok. Sometimes I'm completely not.

Today, not.

Truthfully internet, some days even looking at pictures of baby Little Guy makes me cry, he was so small for such a short time, and now he's all big and I'm terrified of losing him. What about when he stops cuddling and kissing me with love.  He still does, but I know that the time is drawing ever closer when he pulls back.  I don't want him to.  I'll be lost without his affection.  And what about when he gets older and marries.  What if his wife doesn't like me? What if she won't let him see me? How will I live with that? Then the other day, my Mum offhandedly said something about daughters being the ones who look after their aged parents.  I don't have a daughter. What about when I'm an old old lady, will tLG visit me and do all the things I see my Mum doing for her Mum, will he care? It breaks my heart to have him growing up and away from me.

Things I love

I love the $2.80 Japanese store near our house. First because it's a "$2.80 store" - no round dollar amounts for them! And secondly, because of it's amazingly awesome stock. Case in point ...

Haven't you always wanted your house to smell like a Resort Wedding? I know I have.

And what about smelling like New York ... wait, what? Like hobos and smog? Like vomit and subway steam? I'm not so sure I want my house to smell like that. But then I read the top of the bottle (which I photographed badly, so you can't see it properly) - it says "Unisex Citrus".  Do you think that's how New York wants to be known?

In other news of things I love, there's this musician:

... and this musician too:

Do listen to them for me.



Then there's this incredibly cute ratty with his little ratty-sleepy-pal and his astoundingly tiny and hand-like paws:

And finally, there's this table that contains phrases I am sure I will both write AND really mean