Once a scholar ...

Always a scholar?

I've started the Master. Oh Emm Gee. So far it's interesting and I'm finding my balance between work, study and family. Ha! I'm like a somersaulting acrobat juggling three balls on a tightrope and it's only just begun.

I also had a 1.5 day period, with a sum total of about 20 ml of blood (I know this TMI because of my Lunette cup which has convenient measurements). And then yesterday afternoon/evening I had what felt like ovulation cramps - on CD6. WHAT THE FUCK? Is this the beginning of the end? Potentially you lovely ladies will get to travel down menopause road with me and hear all about the highs and lows to scare the bejeezus outta you all (there probably won't be any highs except the high temperature at night when I make the bed all manky with my night sweats).

It's scaring me.

Bones WAS my favourite show

But not anymore.

I still have a metaphorical hard-on for David Boreanaz, I still enjoy the quips and the plots, I still like beating them to the cause of death and the murderer but my love for the show has, on the whole, been tainted, destroyed even, by two things.

1. Seely Booth is in a relationship with a blondie. That just kills me. I used to spend a good proportion of any episode waiting for him to take off his shirt and do Bones, in a dream, a coma, a fantasy, whatever. I waited and sometimes he did.  Sometimes he even got nekkid with casual s.ex partners and that was cool by me. But now the writers have ruined the UST (unresolved sexual tension) between Booth and Bones and to top it off they gave him a p.orn-worthy, intelligent, Bones-liking girlfriend.  She's the antichrist peeps and I hates her. He's MY precious.

MY precious!


2. Then, not only did they screw with my fantasies, they screwed with my safe haven. Were there ever any babies or pregnant people in Bones? Noooooo, just rotting corpses and lots of s.exy thoughts. Now, NOW they have ruined that too. Ruined it so much that even tBG sighs loudly every time they mention their babyjoy.

Stoopid Hodgkins and Angela made a baby - accidentally no less. And every fucking episode has mention, no,  dedicated screen time to the pregnancy.  So I want to shoot the TV. And the writers. How dare they fuck up my favourite show so badly.


Damn.




(Not sure if these pics are NSFW - male chests shown. Are they NSFW?)

And now I'm thinking about vampire hotties, is it just me or does everyone lerv Eric Northman.

And who would you prefer - David Boreanaz or Alexander Skarsgård?

Oh My God!

Mournful-Maura ... I'm still plodding along completely unpregnantly with frequent well-timed non-contracepted s.ex to keep my hopeyheart alive. Maybe that ought to read dopeyheart. Whatever.

The other night as the Big Guy and I watched an ad that featured cute toddler twins in boy/girl nappies, tBG turned to me and sighed. He told me how sad he was that we weren't having a baby. How much he had hoped to meet our child. All in the past tense, a done deal so to speak. Blerk.

We're not having a baby peeps. I don't like that reality. Not one bit. When will I stop giving pregnant women dagger eyes and muttering 'you're so lucky' under my breath when we pass each other? When will I look at/hold a baby and be happy for baby love without feeling like crying simultaneously? When will it stop?

Being on holidays was awesomely distracting - and I can't remember seeing ANY pregnant Italian women. Can't I stay away on holidays?


Giggling-Gertie ... yesterday the Little Guy ran out on our back verandah to take some of his laundry inside. He ran so fast and as he passed the back door handle he snagged the arm of his white dress-up shirt and practically pulled himself off his feet. He scraped his arm and was in tears, very very sad when he suddenly looked at his shirt. In a tone that ought to be reserved for noticing that your arm is hanging out of the socket and there's blood gushing everywhere, he cried, "OH MY GOD! MY SHIRT!!!!" It was hilarious and I found it incredibly difficult to remain consolatory whilst wanting to roll on the ground laughing. When talking about it with tBG later, I cried laughing, it was that funny. I wish I could have taped him saying it so you could hear the horror in his voice.


Looky-Lucy

My kraken sleepeth

Heeeellllloooooooo bloggie-friends!

First - I am devastated and blown away and completely thrown by poor Wiseguy's awful turn of events.

Fly free little Lola you are so very loved and missed by so many people.

I am return-ned from holidays more myself than I have been for the past god-knows-how-long and ready to rumble, OK, not rumble, but I'm feeling so very good at the moment. I guess that's what 5 weeks of holidays, lots of beautiful sight-seeing, then surfing, sun and relaxing will do for a girl.

About this time 3 years ago I threw out the birth control pills and we started TTCing.  Can I just say (as you all know) that this has been one of the most awful trying painful things I have ever voluntarily done to myself. 3 years of grief, failure and pain.

Now, as I start 2011 (and soon a Masters degree - eeeeeeek!), I have almost completely given up hope.  A tiny, itty, witty, incy bit still remains, but I am starting to sort through all the things I've held onto (for when we had the bay-bee) and maybe, just maybe, to move on with life. I don't cry when I get my period anymore and I don't feel quite so hateful towards random pregnant women as I used to. I do still feel incredibly jealous and I wish they would all take their great big pregnant bellies and their tiny newborns off to pregnant-newborn person land and not come back til said tiny babies are annoying 4 year olds and all evidence of happy pregnancy is gone (but not any of you guys, you've shared this horrid journey with me and I'm delighted for each and every one of your planned or surprise conceptions). Hmmm, I do still feel pretty hateful apparently.

Anyways, I'm back from away and being away from normal life has been excellent. Bring on the rest of the year!

Can't blog, too busy summering

I know I promised more Italy pics but then we got the kids back and went summer holidaying. I hope all your January's are fun.










P.S. Congratulations Eggs Out of Time!

3 years later

And I love him dearly.

Thank you Big Guy for being the bestest husband evah.

I'm still wading through the Italy pictures, finding it hard to find the time to sort through them. I swear that camera was glued to my face the whole time we were there. And I'm so glad it was because there was so much to take in my brain couldn't possibly hold all the wonders I saw.

I've decided to pick some pictures from each day to show you. And tell you about.

Day 1

After a 23 hour journey we arrived in Rome around 7am on Christmas Eve. This was in the first batch of pictures I took as I rounded street corners and gasped every time I turned my head. Rome blew me away; living in Australia we don't have any buildings older than a couple of hundred years, no architectural styles before Georgian. Rome is a pastiche, a blend of the ancient and the relatively new (relative in a millenial sense). Astounding and intensely beautiful.

The Pantheon.  Just getting there was a trip and a half due to all the things we saw on the way (including a tiny little church - Santa Maria Maddalena - whose beautiful interior had us enthralled for ages). The Pantheon is enormous. So VERY big. How those ancient people managed it is beyond me. It's been rebuilt over time, redecorated and renewed as it was repurposed.

 

Everywhere one turns in the Pantheon, the view is spectacular. And because it's being used as a church today there's a mix of the ancient and the not-so-ancient. It's like mini-Rome. This apse holds the Chapel of the Crucifixion and the wall surrounding the cross is the original Roman wall. From 126AD. The cross is 1400's.  Those old walls. I desperately wanted to feel them.

 

And then I did. Do you think that nail is old? I did.

I'm in love with old. And with Rome.

A friend of mine who had recently returned from Italy said that she disliked Rome - too dirty and busy. But for me it's perfect. Possibly winter visiting is better than summer visiting, it wasn't too busy and it wasn't dirty.

Mi amore Roma.

Watch this space peeps

Because I'm (*sob*) coming home.

Italy is absolutely phenomenal, if you haven't been then I totally recommend that you to go book your holiday NOW. Srsly.

Home in 36 hrs, much photo-i-ness to follow.

I'll leave you with this excellently silly/sexy Italian men's undies box, he has his O face on 'cause it's O time baby!