Her birthday

Today was one of my mother-in-laws' birthday. I have had the pleasure of three mother-in-laws, all of whom I love. My ex has a lovely mother with whom we happily lived for a while. Then there's the Big Guy's mothers. His Mum, who is a kind mother-in-law and his second mother (step-mama), a most excellent mother-in-law.

Today should have been her birthday, she should have turned 64. Will you still need me, will you still feed me when I'm 64. Instead we've spent the last three days planning her funeral.



On Sunday morning we got the phone-call. As everyone knows, calls at 7:30am on Sundays are always bad news. And it was. We got to the hospital by 8:30am and then we waited. And waited. And prayed. And soothed. And loved. And finally at 5pm, I kissed her warm forehead and asked her not to be dead.

:(

I don't talk much about our step-families. That's plural because tBG's parents divorced when he was a teen and they both remarried.  Each of tBG's step-parents had teen children of their own and both tBG's Mum and Dad managed to extend their families and open their hearts to their step-children and blend quite beautifully. So when tBG and I got together, there was no question of us not blending happily and well, of course we would and so we have. All family occasions are big blended affairs and everyone gets along so well - even the Xs (mostly).

My MIL was an open-hearted woman, a wise and kind woman, a generous and practical woman. She was down-to-earth and funny and always up for a drink or a laugh. She cared adoringly for tBGs father when he died slowly of motor neurone disease in 2007 and she'd not healed from that loss yet (none of us have). There were 16 people in the hospital loving her when she died, all of us torn and devastated and disbelieving. How can she be dead? Why does death come unexpectedly? Why the fuck does it have to happen at all? Funeral is on Friday. The Great Big Extended Family Christmas is happening at our house in 3 weeks and there will be a huge hole where she should be.