Wednesday, September 10, 2014

"That's it; that's all she wrote"

Meaning: An articulation of a sudden and unforeseen end to one's hopes or plans.

But it wasn't unseen, nor unexpected. And yet.

My period is 2 weeks late but I'm not pregnant. Instead what I am is post-menopausal.

FSH = 90.6
Estrogen <44

They are the levels found in a person who no longer ovulates and will no longer menstruate.

I'm 42.

I knew it was coming, but I didn't REALLY know it. Not in my bones. Not in my heart. Certainly not in my hopes. But now there is no chance for the famous "just forget about it" baby.

My realm now is one of hot flashes, vag.inal atrophy, vag.inal dryness, irritability, mood swings, insomnia blah blah blah.

Fucking life is unfair so much of the time.


  1. This is what my sister had at 39. It is unfair. I hope for other wonderful things to help distract from the physical and emotional roller coaster. Damn.

  2. Hello Twin,

    Sorry to hear that. My mom stopped her periods at 35. I think I am heading there. Although now I am in the land of heavy spotting for 20days a month. Ughhh. ~N


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