Good morning Sunshine!

Yes indeedy, it's a fine and dandy day and I am one happy woman :)

Though I woke up a little hungover from my private partay last night, I still woke in a better mood than I have for months. Oh Happy Happy Joy Joy.


The Little Guy and I were driving to creche today and I was trying to convince him to sing to me.
He said "Do you remember the time when I was 2 and I couldn't sing in front of everyone?".
Now I don't remember this, but the little elephant in the back seat assured me it happened and it was because he was "... what's the word Mama?"

"Shy?" says I, knowing full well that that he's had maybe 2 'shy' incidents in his life.

"No," says he, "I was nervous."

My nervous little sweetheart.

I asked him to sing for me and he guffawed and proclaimed his nervosity. I cajoled and eventually his piping little voice issued forth from the back seat. Now, he was always tone-deaf as a smaller toddler. At kinder when all the other kids were tunefully singing a blurry rendition of Twinkle Twinkle, there was my boy singing in his tuneless voice loudly and happily. But what do you know, the chld has gotten some tone. And his little voice was so sweet I almost cried, right there and then as I was driving. Even more adorable, this is what he tried to sing. His favorite bedtime song.

Which brings me to a question. He's 5.5 now ... when do you think he'll decide he's too old for a bedtime snuggle and song? I've managed to cut the playlist down from five songs to one or two, but he insists on at least one song. I really thought he would have grown out of it by now, but the old bath-story-song-bed routine that I established when he was tiny wee lad is still going strong.

On the plus side, daylight savings bothers us naught. I just move his night time routine around to suit me and he's so entrained to it he shifts without complaint. It's almost Pavlovian.

It's over!!!

Thank F**k. The multiple choice questions were abominable. For those of you who have read the Faraway Tree, do you remember Dame Slap's school? (Which reminds me of a vent I'll have to have another time.) She asked questions like "If there are a hundred pages in a book, how many books would there be on the shelf?" Well, my multi-choice question were like that! Seriously ridiculous and impossible because of the ridiculosity. The essay questions were fine, so hopefully I'll have scored a B for it. I need a 80% average for first-class Honours and I need first-class Honours for a scholarship. Fingers crossed.

Anyway, I am so glad it's over for the year.

more animals

One down ...

(written on 3rd Nov 2008)

OK, one exam down, one more to go. Strangely, the ethics exam wasn't too bad after all. I really do have an awful habit of working myself into a fever of sweaty exam anxiety. Maybe I need to so I can do well? Who knows. In any case I wrote and wrote and wrote and I ought to have done fairly well on the rotten thing.

Psych assessment exam tomorrow. More essay-questions but at least there's some multiple-choice this time. And I have the advantage of loving psych assessment. I did the (quite similar) 3rd year subject last year and blitzed it. I actually won the Mensa award for the highest score. Who knew one could get high marks and $500.00! Mind you, part of the prize was a chance to do their test and join their club but I'm too worried that I'm not clever enough and I'd get rejected.

Anyone reading this? If you are, click here





to learn about the outrageous and silly plan Stephen Conroy and Kevin Rudd have to censor the internet. It's so embarrassing for the Labor Party to be acting so stupidly. So terribly costly too.

Back to the grindstone - I need to learn about intelligence ;)

Stud-ying ... Iz doin' it rong

(written 1st Nov 2008)

Today I abandoned the Man and the Children and scooted off to the library and clocked hours and hours of Ethics study. I loathe Ethics.

What's more, I loathe this new warped form of assessment my coordinators have decided to spring on us now we're in second semester of 4th year. All the way through undergrad Psych we have had multiple choice exams and they've rammed down our throats the fact that those types of exams are the most valid, the most easy to compare cohorts and the least subjective in terms of scoring. Blah blah blah.

What types of exams do I have in the coming days - long and short answer. I haven't done long/short answer exams since 1990. That is an eon ago. An eon I tell you. I can barely remember how to study for that type of madness.

So today I have read two ethics textbooks, summarised 7 lectures and the entire Code of Ethics and my brain is full-to-bursting. I am about ready to explode in a brain-mush kind of way. Messy.

And the Fibro is playing up so my elbows hurt. Yep, my elbows. Isn't that weird? (Almost as weird as when my toes hurt.) Anyway they hurt all the way deep in the joints, so the whole bended-arm-to-type thing is getting old fast. I haven't slept properly in a few days 'cause I'm a teensy bit anxious. And I'm getting a bit afraid of moving my head cause my shoulders and neck feel as though they're going to seize up too.

Lack of sleep + hideous study = poor sore me.

Have pity on me cruel world. Keep my head turning for the next few days - I really need to be able to look down at my horrible exam booklets.

(Nov 1st 2008)

FYI. Here's the Little Guy on the weirdest kiddy ride I've ever seen (and he's ever been on).

Me and why Halloween has proved freaky.

(written on the 31st October)

First, I thought I'd tell you a little bit about moi! In 10 easy pieces ...

Busy
Stressed
Unpregnant (yeah I know it's not a word, but it sums up the situation nicely)
Research assistant
psychologist-in-training
A loving though sometimes cranky wife/mother/daughter/step-mother/employee/student/friend
Neurotic (ha!)
Opinionated
Funny
Quick

There you all go, there's me summed by me.


Now, onto the freakiness of Halloween. Though I iterated my dislike of Halloween in a discussion yesterday and said I was not going to take part in it, I went and bought treaties in case other children came'a'visit'n tonight (they didn't). And when the Little Guy and I were driving home we passed two houses close to us that had Halloween balloons out and tons of small crazily dressed people.

So, after he asked, I told the excited Little Guy that yes - he could dress-up and we'd go a trick-or-treating.

Excited - yes! Planned - no!

Luckily the Little Guy is a full-on dress-up enthusiast and has at his disposal about 30 costumes at any one time. His choice de jour was Darth Vader. So he quickly donned his black top and cape, whipped on his Vader mask and grabbed his new LightSaver (sic) and off we went.

The Little Guy was impressed by house #1 - the lady was sweet and excited and gave out candy! He could hardly believe his luck, dressed in his fave dress-up he went to a random stranger's house, repeated a hastily learned phrase and she gave him candy!!!

House #2 revealed surprises for us both.

First there were 4 equally excited and dressed-up kids opening the door which freaked out the Little Guy somewhat. Though he likes to see himself in costumes and masks, other people in costumes and masks scare him. Even if they're small people.

Second - the mother was one of the mothers from the Mothers Group I had been in when the Little Guy was born. The mothers who had everything and got along so famously while scruffy old disintegrating me tried to play along and failed. So that freaked me out somewhat. We exchanged pleasantries and the Little Guy and I made a hurried escape.

When we returned to the car, I asked if he wanted to do any more - he said he wanted to go home.

So there was our first Halloween experience - it left both of us freaked out for different reasons.

Anyway, I am supposed to be studying for exams on Monday and Tuesday - I'd better go learn stuff.

The best laid plans of mice ... and women

(written on 30th Oct 2008)

So I'm not pregnant, yet again. Yes, I know I've only been trying for 10 cycles but I had a plan. A plan I tells ya!

I was going to have a baby with my wonderful husband next year. Then I could take a year off study and go back to finish the last year when bub was older than 6 months.

But now, after 10 tries I have one more chance to get up the duff before we have to stop trying for a few months so I can do the rest of Honours next year. I figure if we get pregnant in this cycle, then bub would be due in August so that's OK to take the year off and do my final year in 2010.

But the months after this (Dec & Jan) make a due date too close to the end of the year - if potential bub is due in September it's not worthwhile/sensible to take the year off - so I may as well try not to get pregnant and do the final Honours year next year. Then if I commit to that I can't be having a bub in Oct or Nov either due to handing in assessments. So we will have to stop trying until end Feb/March.

This idea distresses me for a few reasons:

1. I really wanted to be pregnant. And I'm not. And we've been trying long enough now that if we had managed to nail it on the first try, I'd be having a baby this month.

2. I really wanted to take a year off. I am so burnt out I am a crispy cinder. No, wait ... I am the ashes of a crispy cinder of my former self. This was my 7th year studying (1 more year to finish Honours) and I have had enough. More than enough. And I'm scared of writing a 6,000 word lit review and then a 5,000 word research report. That seems like too many words.

3. Stopping trying to conceive is a freaky idea given that it hasn't exactly happened easily. And given my advanced age. Alright, I'm only 36 but in egg-years that's ancient.

4. We have an appointment with a fertility specialist in early December - can I tell the truth and say that we don't want to get pregnant until after January's cycle? Or ought I be faking enthusiasm for December and January cycles?

5. Did I mention I really wanted a year off study (I'd still be working)? I really can't justify taking that year unless there's a small, screaming human involved. Otherwise it just seems wasteful given that I'm so close to finishing.