tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7545005274700673650.post3183911308847435308..comments2023-08-28T21:04:38.522+10:00Comments on Pundelina Kafoops lives here: Bugbears about griefPundelinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15415043063715661647noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7545005274700673650.post-91596239471426501092010-11-17T02:33:04.264+11:002010-11-17T02:33:04.264+11:00So true. Every one of us deals with grief in our ...So true. Every one of us deals with grief in our own way. I think, as humans, we try to find rituals and patterns to trick ourselves into some path to enlightenment in order to get by. Some people find solace in the "stages of grief" others, not so much. I'm with you, Pundie. There's no way I will accept "infertility" as some death sentence. Eff that. In the words of the Dylan Thomas villanelle: "Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (oh, and beer too...good, local beer.) ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7545005274700673650.post-91381339206957938432010-11-16T17:45:39.757+11:002010-11-16T17:45:39.757+11:00Well whoever designed theories on grief handling w...Well whoever designed theories on grief handling was not really God, was he?<br /><br />Acceptance is a myth...and not everybody would get to that or WANT to get to that.<br /><br />I was giggling at the small-print note you left for the Universe...yeah, booze is apparently sperm magnet.....alhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679149270839974470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7545005274700673650.post-76459959750401368122010-11-16T12:12:56.941+11:002010-11-16T12:12:56.941+11:00Sometimes things are just fucked. They're not ...Sometimes things are just fucked. They're not fair, they have no "meaning", they're just fucked. And people either cope with that or they don't, or they use weird ways to outsiders to get through the day. <br /><br />Coping doesn't mean acceptance, and for some people it never will. My only wish for you is that all of the other things in your life that make you resilient can keep you happy and writing and doing excellent things with your Masters/PhD. Because someone with as much awesome as you, deserves no less. <br /><br />(PS sorry for swearing again, I'm usually quite ladylike - promise!).Jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10875757234483528006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7545005274700673650.post-463375907552511602010-11-16T11:06:13.183+11:002010-11-16T11:06:13.183+11:00Right on! Tell it like it is! Sending my good thou...Right on! Tell it like it is! Sending my good thoughts your way.AmyGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09507868273451434948noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7545005274700673650.post-33215698345473668242010-11-16T09:35:45.348+11:002010-11-16T09:35:45.348+11:00Oh I agree. And I one hundred per cent support you...Oh I agree. And I one hundred per cent support your attempt to trick the Universe. I will be doing same. Do you hear that Universe????<br /><br />Honestly this is such a hard thing, acceptance, I can't even begin to articulate it. All I know is that I have been trying to accept the possibility for two years and I am not there yet.<br /><br />PS Great news on interview - go kick some butt!Andiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10173628683150350210noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7545005274700673650.post-59515914591289683522010-11-16T07:51:33.738+11:002010-11-16T07:51:33.738+11:00I agree, I don't think Kubler-Ross had it righ...I agree, I don't think Kubler-Ross had it right for everybody. What she did do was make it okay for grief to take a while and different forms. But no, I don't think everyone goes through them all and certainly not in order.<br /><br />I hope your Universe trickiness pays off. Drinking beer would be the clincher for me if I was 'in charge'!alliecathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06147888501927922319noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7545005274700673650.post-52768165270904461112010-11-16T02:08:11.302+11:002010-11-16T02:08:11.302+11:00I've always thought those stages of grief were...I've always thought those stages of grief were a complete crock. It simplifies what isn't simple at all. And it provides one more bunk ruler against which people measure themselves. I would feel (and do feel) as you do. Fuck acceptance.Adelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06955659206478903815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7545005274700673650.post-87322185388859041942010-11-16T02:01:52.022+11:002010-11-16T02:01:52.022+11:00You are absolutely right that we all experience gr...You are absolutely right that we all experience grief in different ways and there is no cookie-cutter approach to it. I think that whatever each of us can find to hang on to or relate to during this horrible infertile existence is a good thing, whether it is Kubler-Ross' model or Mind Hacks' evidence or our own self-determined emotional journey. I hear you that the term "acceptance" is a loaded one. For me, I think if I ever get to that point, "acceptance" will just mean the absence of fighting tooth and nail to have a baby - as you say, coping. And until I am completely menopausal I will always hold out hope that it will happen.<br />((Hugs))<br />Love,<br />MaddyMad Hatterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08262994711680542891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7545005274700673650.post-51119994510729933812010-11-15T23:47:01.925+11:002010-11-15T23:47:01.925+11:00sigh, I am so sorry you are having a such a hard t...sigh, I am so sorry you are having a such a hard time. Coping is certainly a good thing and if you can do that, I think you are doing great.cdghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13174907373129154516noreply@blogger.com